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MUOMUO'S GINKGO LEAFflying in the wind, dancing in my heart.. April 11 training your subconsciousLately, I have been reading some about the subconscious learning , and one about financial statements; Reading makes me feel alive (although still feel hollow most of time...), and i realized that the subconscious does influence so enough my life, but I never pay attention to it which perhaps stops me to do a lot of things. For example, most of people would comfort themselves " Don't worry" when they get trouble, but in fact the subconscious cant take the massages negative, and it only tells their minds "worry", thus people usually are still anxious no matter how hard they try to tell themselves "Don't worry". Therefore, if we meet a problem, it may work much better to say "clam down". It's quite interesting to practice this, this theory mainly helps our subconscious works with our minds better so that we may succeed more and also overcome our weakness.
One of the books i read is this one, it's not bad, and also has a lot of training for our subconscious. you may check this out later ^_^ if.. if you understand Chinese, hehe...
 July 23 last late night, i got a answer from Lord...last late night, i got a answer from Lord...
I had been very confused about my future, which way i should go, which things i can do, that kinda stuff.. Last week i w
 ent to meet a friend and saw a movie together, After the movie, I told her what I was concerned about, "have you prayed for it yet??" she asked, mm... never really seriously do this...honestly.So I decided to do this, in serious way. But somehow I could not make it, it's way hard to concentrate my attention to pray, too many things could occure to me and I would not know what I was praying about... that happened all the time! it's kinda frustrating....
And last night, shooting down the pc, lying down and praying, I tried my best to focus. In fact, I was suffering a headache then. And I kept talking to Heavenly Father and asking him some question; I am usually not the one who is that sensitive the sense any hints from God like Rita is, but I longed to know! a thinking just poped in "oh~ Father, if the answer is YES, make my headache stop right away" in the same moment i told myself"oh..come on, that's so dump to think so..." Suddenly, my headache stopped! I was... totally shocked! Not really sure about that though... I tried not to think that was just coincident, So I asked again.. "oh Father, if that is true..." ouch! i felt pain on my head! "OK OK! father, i got it i got it!" and the headache stopped again....
After that, I felt complicated, happy for getting the answer, shocked for what just happened, nervous about what I got.... Father is really there and listens! my faith is so weak, but he takes it and still accompanies me... I am not talking to air! i should repent and keep faith!
March 06 goodbyei thougjht i could handle it pretty well
but i realized it's not true
the trip is right on and
it's the night you will take off
I almost beg if time could fly slowly
coz we never know what will maintain the same afterward
so please treasure this rainy night
Just remember to say goodbye...
September 27 about "Immature"A friend said i was immature,
well.. it's not a big deal for me,
no one is completely mature,
and should not be 100% mature,
it's not got to do with neither "Age" nor "Personaltiy",
In my opinion, an absolutely mature man is not lovely at all.
I sometimes laugh or smile about my immature manner or others',
I can't imagine how boring the world will become
if all were totally mature....
so please do not judge others "immature"
for the one who judges so is not really mature either.
"Being immature is NOT guilty"!!!!
June 13 visiting grandmom i suppose this time was my last time to see her alive, she was frailly lying on the bed, although morphine was constantly injected into her body, she still could not help giving a groan of pain... she was too hurt and too frail to talk, i looked around, people kept talking. Stroking her hair and forehead, I could not stand and dropped tears quietly. She sometimes shakily and slowly raised her hands, people said she was tending to pull off those cannuas on her face, so I lightly pressed he hands... and whispered by her ears " grandma, don't be afraid, i know you are suffering the pang, i am praying for you. Please bear for a few days more, and you will be set free from the pang...". she seemed to try to say somthing, but the voice was so blurry and quiet so i couldn't understand, I looked around, people still kept talking. Turning round and looking at her face, "it's a pity that none has the priesthood in this room... or grandmom could have a priesthood blessing... " I was thinking sadly... people left the room but me , they called me to leave to the restaurant for lunch, I could not stand anymore and cried to her " grandmom.. i am leaving... please..please take care.. i will come back to see you again.. " the nurse came in and asked her " your granddaughter is here, do you know? ", suddenly she said quietly and toughly " yes.. i do.." I walking back to her and whispered with tears " I promise you i will come back to see you.. "
i suppose this time was my last time to see her alive.... |
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why is that so painful to say goodbye this time 
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