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April 11 training your subconsciousLately, I have been reading some about the subconscious learning , and one about financial statements; Reading makes me feel alive (although still feel hollow most of time...), and i realized that the subconscious does influence so enough my life, but I never pay attention to it which perhaps stops me to do a lot of things. For example, most of people would comfort themselves " Don't worry" when they get trouble, but in fact the subconscious cant take the massages negative, and it only tells their minds "worry", thus people usually are still anxious no matter how hard they try to tell themselves "Don't worry". Therefore, if we meet a problem, it may work much better to say "clam down". It's quite interesting to practice this, this theory mainly helps our subconscious works with our minds better so that we may succeed more and also overcome our weakness.
One of the books i read is this one, it's not bad, and also has a lot of training for our subconscious. you may check this out later ^_^ if.. if you understand Chinese, hehe...
 July 23 last late night, i got a answer from Lord...last late night, i got a answer from Lord...
I had been very confused about my future, which way i should go, which things i can do, that kinda stuff.. Last week i w
 ent to meet a friend and saw a movie together, After the movie, I told her what I was concerned about, "have you prayed for it yet??" she asked, mm... never really seriously do this...honestly.So I decided to do this, in serious way. But somehow I could not make it, it's way hard to concentrate my attention to pray, too many things could occure to me and I would not know what I was praying about... that happened all the time! it's kinda frustrating....
And last night, shooting down the pc, lying down and praying, I tried my best to focus. In fact, I was suffering a headache then. And I kept talking to Heavenly Father and asking him some question; I am usually not the one who is that sensitive the sense any hints from God like Rita is, but I longed to know! a thinking just poped in "oh~ Father, if the answer is YES, make my headache stop right away" in the same moment i told myself"oh..come on, that's so dump to think so..." Suddenly, my headache stopped! I was... totally shocked! Not really sure about that though... I tried not to think that was just coincident, So I asked again.. "oh Father, if that is true..." ouch! i felt pain on my head! "OK OK! father, i got it i got it!" and the headache stopped again....
After that, I felt complicated, happy for getting the answer, shocked for what just happened, nervous about what I got.... Father is really there and listens! my faith is so weak, but he takes it and still accompanies me... I am not talking to air! i should repent and keep faith!
March 06 goodbyei thougjht i could handle it pretty well
but i realized it's not true
the trip is right on and
it's the night you will take off
I almost beg if time could fly slowly
coz we never know what will maintain the same afterward
so please treasure this rainy night
Just remember to say goodbye...
September 27 about "Immature"A friend said i was immature,
well.. it's not a big deal for me,
no one is completely mature,
and should not be 100% mature,
it's not got to do with neither "Age" nor "Personaltiy",
In my opinion, an absolutely mature man is not lovely at all.
I sometimes laugh or smile about my immature manner or others',
I can't imagine how boring the world will become
if all were totally mature....
so please do not judge others "immature"
for the one who judges so is not really mature either.
"Being immature is NOT guilty"!!!!
June 13 visiting grandmom i suppose this time was my last time to see her alive, she was frailly lying on the bed, although morphine was constantly injected into her body, she still could not help giving a groan of pain... she was too hurt and too frail to talk, i looked around, people kept talking. Stroking her hair and forehead, I could not stand and dropped tears quietly. She sometimes shakily and slowly raised her hands, people said she was tending to pull off those cannuas on her face, so I lightly pressed he hands... and whispered by her ears " grandma, don't be afraid, i know you are suffering the pang, i am praying for you. Please bear for a few days more, and you will be set free from the pang...". she seemed to try to say somthing, but the voice was so blurry and quiet so i couldn't understand, I looked around, people still kept talking. Turning round and looking at her face, "it's a pity that none has the priesthood in this room... or grandmom could have a priesthood blessing... " I was thinking sadly... people left the room but me , they called me to leave to the restaurant for lunch, I could not stand anymore and cried to her " grandmom.. i am leaving... please..please take care.. i will come back to see you again.. " the nurse came in and asked her " your granddaughter is here, do you know? ", suddenly she said quietly and toughly " yes.. i do.." I walking back to her and whispered with tears " I promise you i will come back to see you.. "
i suppose this time was my last time to see her alive.... April 28 Too Late We always have so many " it's too late "We always thought time would wait for us,
We always thought we would have chances to redo, to atone,
But guess what? we are always not that lucky.
So we need to appreciate what are in our hands
when it's not too late.... hold tightly...
April 18 The Passion of The ChristLast night I watched the movie "The Passion of The Christ" which I had wanted to see since it's a lot of points of what i read in the holy Bible had been linked together, point by point, when those points were linked into a line, my tears welled up in my eyes. Suddenly I understant a lot of things which i didn't get, I understand why Hevenly Father calls Jesus Christ as his belove son, when all of us were in the meeting up on the heaven, only Jehovah stood out and accepted this kind of result on earth. how brave did he need to be so he could take this mission? I must be the little chicken spirit behind other spirits. Obeidence of the Chirst is so unbelievible, when he was parying to hevenly father in the gardon of Gethsemane, even thouhg he was extremely afraid and hurt, but he still chose to obey heavly father's will. The process of his Atonement in this movie lets me understand that how difficult and tough the atonement that Jesus took for us is, It cost Christ's blood and life. How little I have done for him and for others... the Sacrament is for remembering Christ. I have to repent for taking it for granted. the Sacrament seems too easy for us to get, but that's Jesus's flesh and blood! one of my church friends said if you imagine the stuff coverd with the white clothe on the table was Jesus Christ's body, then you would never take the Sacrament for granted.
the frame above touched my heart, I wish i be able to carry the heavy cross with Jesus, if I could lighten his burden.. Although this movie is not from church, it still brings a strong spiritual feeling to me. thanks this movie! April 14 New Job, New BossYou never know what life is going to give you.
Suddenly, I got a new job, before that, no resumes were sent out from me. Now I have to wake up earlier every morning and go through the traffic jam to work, nothing bad, but I am still trying to get used to it...
My boss is a topest stylist in Taiwan. As an assistant of her, I got to know the life of famous people isn't easy, they are always trying to maintain their high profile in every section, such as their cars, clothes, and so on. My boss always has GUCCI bag on her hand, she drives Benz, and drinks the bottle water which costs over US$10 per bottle, but she thinks those stuff are very expensive. She is easy to get mad and lose her patience, i guess there is too much pressure on her or her EQ is low. She likes to tell people how awesome she is, that's what she would repeats several times everyday, be honestly, I don't hate it, but feel weird and interested. From my side to see her, she probably feels lonely, very lonely, for it's too hard to find a true heart for her.
Her ex-assistant told me she was very mean and not easy-going, but i think my bueiness is not making good friend with her but doing well on my job, plus, i found that she is not a bad person but just kinda difficult, that's ok, that's a good way to train my patience, hehe... oh good luck muomuo.....
this is my office April 06 choicesPeople always choose the easier way to go, closer thing to touch,
oh i am tired, coz I chose a harder way to go, a further thing to touch
so I deserved much more frustration from it
oh i am tired, oh Father, I told you that i would take whatever you gave
but now, look at me, i am still there and never move
do you also cry with me? also smile with me? also walk with me?
let me know you are here with me and proud of me?
coz I have been trying so hard and really hard
and i will keep trying ... not to choose the same way
March 26 Happy 50th anniversary of church in Taiwan!please check the original website for some English info about the jubilee: http://www.lds.org.tw/missionary50th/index_e.html also check the official site that i have done: http://www.lds.org.tw/missionary50th/index.html
yay~
Happy 50th anniversary, church! March 19 life animeMarch 16 The Design of My Friend's Wedding InvitationMei, My good friend and ex-roommate in NY, is going to get married, so there are a lot of things have to be done. Everything in NY is extremely expensive, only weding photography and vedio took Mei and Ted about US$4500, the wedding has not begun, they have spent over US$7500, which is really crazy for Taiwanese. Therefore they decided to print the invitations by Ted's HP printer... orz... as a good friend of theirs, I think it's the only thing I may do for their wedding, so I designed this invitation card for them. Mei is a Taiwanese and Ted is an ABC, so they prefer putting Chinese style and western style together. this is the one I just did tonight. The red stuff is Chinese traditional paper-cut with many double-happiness, which is one of the main signs in Chinese wedding. March 13 making women more prettyThis girl is my good friend, she came over and asked me the same questions ^_^ , ok ! i will try my best! March 08 Crazy religional worship in TaiwanMarch 04 A song i used to sing I try to sing a song, a song i used to singSomehow I hardly remember any word of it
The melody is playing in the ears , quietly and blurry,
And seems ready to come out but still hard to be hummed
Busy doing other things I gave up recalling it
The melody kept playing even in my dream
That cant be a nightmare yet might be annoying
Does it matter if the song I couldn't sing?
I have no idea, or , maybe it does indeed Because it was filled with all my memory.
The first time I sang it was when I got my first ginkgo leaf
The first time I sang it was in that beautiful summer
But somehow anyhow I hardly remember any word of it
There is a song I used to sing
A song filled with my ginkgo leaves.
February 26 Endure To The End And now, my beloved brethren and sisters, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path of the Temple marrage, i would ask if all is done?
Behold, I say onto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by word of Chirst with unshaken faith in him and your spouses, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.
Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope and a love of God and of your spouses.
Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ and your spouses, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father:
Ye shall have eternal marrages.
I can go to stay in yours. A conversation between Hevenly Father and a young divorsed woman who had been really exhausted for taking care of her seven children at home -----
I was looking up at the night sky with tearful eyes " Oh~ Father, I can't make it tonight, coz I am too tired to face all I am facing... I cant go home and take care of those kids on my own. May I go to yours for just one night? I promise that I will come back tomorrow morning..." "No, my daughtor, you cant come over here yet right now, if you came, and would never
 want to go back to yours. However, I can go to stay in yours."February 23 freshness v.s staleness Freshness makes things lovelyFreshness makes people easygoing
Freshness makes the conversation interesting
Freshness makes food delicious
Freshness makes me curious
Staleness makes things boring
Staleness makes people mean and difficult
Staleness makes the conversation run dry
Staleness makes food unappetizing
Staleness makes me wanna run away... What's in between?
Holding on the same attitude
Bearing getting unfresh
Pretending to be interested
Less smile and laugher
Maybe a little bit stressed... That's how I just got tonight... February 22 Doll maker![Visit The Doll Palace [Where Cartoon Dolls Live]](http://public.thedollpalace.com/public/images/dolls_library_linked/dollz/dollz-base87_doll115_2_4_2006.gif) ![Visit The Doll Palace [Where Cartoon Dolls Live]](http://public.thedollpalace.com/public/images/dolls_library_linked/dollz/dollz-base87_doll118_2_4_2006.gif)
Lately Greg told me a interesting stuff -- pixel graphics, that's just like a new game in the internet, some people draw nude body, and some draw clothes and hair and stuff for those nude dolls. and they have so many websites to share their new pixel graphics. It's so amazing that those dolls look very fine. Greg told me the software of doll maker is not difficult at all, so i guess i will try it and show my own pixel design here later. February 13 Lantern Festival !!! Lantern Festival takes place on the fifteenth day of the first moon in a lunar year, and it is right today. in Taiwan, we always have some very unique programs for celebrating.for example, Yanshui Fireworks Display is one of the best! The most impressive of all the fireworks set off on this day is the "cannon wall" which is lit to thank the gods for their blessing. The scale of the cannon walls vary, though most consist of tens of thousands of firecrackers which pound the sky with a deafening roar. Every time the spirit palanquin approaches the cannon wall, the wall custodian pulls open the red cloth and lights the firecrackers, releasing an explosion of light and color that is the climax of the fireworks evening. see the vedio of the Yanshui Fireworks Display. and another best is Pinghsi Sky Lanterns, not only do the number of lanterns increase with every event, their size continually grows as well. The lanterns are decorated with colorful pictures, the names of their owners, and wishes such as "The higher the lamp flies, the higher your business will soar." when ppl let the lanterns go at the same time, that's the most beautiful moment of Lantern Festival! see the vedio of the Pinhsi Sky Lanterns.there is another must-do today is eating of yuan hsiao, that symbolizes peace and unity. Each locality has its own way to make yuan hsiao, but all include glutinous rice dumplings filled with bean paste, sesame paste, peanut powder, fish or meat. umm... yummy! so Lantern Festival can be the end of the Chinese New Year, and the brand new year's just begun! |
why is that so painful to say goodbye this time 
released. I had never cried for any movies or tv programs, but this time I could not help and cried a lot. Even now my heart is still not very still.... How could those people be that cruel? how could hevenly father stand to see his belove son be tortured like that? a lot of questions were asked in my mind. Hevenly father didn't show up in this movie, I could not see how painful he would suffer. However, I saw Maria, Jesus's mother, as a mother, who can bear her child be treated like that? i cant imagine.... what i also cant imagine is the extreme pain Jesus was suffering.... |
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